Be Still

The Lord  has been taking me through a deep season of cleansing and healing.  I have  found myself praying thru hard situations and relationships again that I thought were dealt with already.  He has shown me that there is a depth and a detail of things that He is after so that I am completely free and ready to step fully into the future that He has created me for. 

 He gave me a visual of a fountain that had gunk and strings clogging it up as a way to understand that if we really want to be vessels and conduits of His grace then we have to allow this cleansing and restoration process to be done by His hand.  Even as the pot cannot mold or repair itself but must hold still in the potter's hand, we must Be Still and allow Him to do what only He can do.    The individual details of my relationships and the depths that I have had to revisit and reprocess them from a kingdom perspective has kind of amazed me!  Just like an oasis in the natural, if the well or cistern is polluted and or clogged up, all the junk has to come out for the pure water to flow!

I visualized an oasis that is parched and dry, muck and scum making the water rank and stale, palm trees twisted and broken, like our hearts. Even as I have been in a desert season, my heart is that polluted oasis that must be cleaned out, from top to bottom.

  If we want to be everything we need and can be to those we are in relationship with, then it is time to have Him complete the process. We need the strands of relationships to be pulled out that are not in His perfect will.  There are many of us that relational strands that affect our lives greatly.  The adult daughter, the 14yr old son that just started high school, the siblings and all those interesting details, many of those need to be untangled and touched with the Lord's cleansing and healing touch.  We all have relationships that are hard, are challenging and just more than we can sort out.  We have relationships that we just do not know what to do with.  We even have good reltaionships that just need to be put on hold for awhile. We are tangled and we are mucked up and left to ourselves, things could decidedly get worse.  We have to allow the Lord to set us free and untangle us!

There is a scripture that means alot to me, He who the son sets free is free indeed.  This describes the common old practice of the son of the household.  When the Master, his Father, dies, he would set free completely the slaves of the household.  They were freemen with no bondage attached to them in any way.  And so, when the Son of our heavenly Father did all He did for our salvation, He made us completely free.  The cleansing process is the way to be able to step into this life and that more abundantly. 

For many years I have operated thru an orphan spirit.  I have strived and worked hard, all to earn the love and acceptance that is already mine.  Fear of man and people pleasing were my portion and I did not know how to just be.  And now, even with much healing, I am still learning to handle things differently.    And, even though I am an orphan in the natural, in the spiritual realm, the keys to the kingdom are mine.  I am learning that I do have a heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally.  He is not like my earthly Father, who, bless him, had never been parented himself.  He is not full of anger and rage.  He is love and that in unlimited measure and I am His!

I believe that we have stepped into a shift, a kairos moment in time where we will finally leave all the pain, sorrow and suffering that is our PAST behind and be fully free to step into our present and future.  There is a window of grace opening that we will have to leap thru and we must do that unencumbered by the strings of the past.  It is time to pray thru all relationships and situations that the Lord brings to mind.  To repent of our part of these things that hinder us and forgive any and all that have played a part in any of these events the Lord is now highlighting.  To do so does  not say that it was acceptable what they did, merely that you leave them in the Lord's  hands and release them from your life and heart.

If not us, who, if not now, when, if not freedom and joy, then what will we settle for?

thank  you Lord for your Healing touch, we receive it gladly, amen

Being trained in God's Wisdom is EVERYTHING!!

or the OWLS have it!

I have been asking the Lord for wisdom, over and over again.  Recently I had a dream that I found a baby owl. I was getting frustrated though that the darn thing kept disappearing!  I was traveling and I found this baby owl but kept losing it.  I would see it again later but it would be lighter and look like a reg light tan/gold bird.  Then i would recognize it again  and i would all of the sudden find it (pick it up again) again and that is when it would put it's ears up and look like an owl again, still small but brown.  Other people in the family were finding different things but it was never the same.  I had to find that bird! I was thrilled to learn that it would come if I saw it and called for it. I tried to work more and more at keeping track of it.

The next thing was I found out someone selling/giving away some really nice jewelry and make up, One of my favorite things is to find treasures from the Lord for things we (or others)  need, in hidden places, like garage sales, etc.  As I was browsing and selecting what I felt was needed,  I was working on not losing the bird again but found it was hard to focus on both.  I finally decided to buy what I needed quickly and clear out one of the nice bags for a place for the bird to rest and feel safe.  So, this all seems random but the moral of the story, for me, was that I did need to still exercise my gift as a treasure hunter for the Lord but that I had to make it a first priority to make room for His wisdom.

The fear of the LORD is discipline (training) [leading to] wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

 I have (finally) entered a season of knowing that it is just not enough to know what I know. There is no other way to walk this life of a disciple than to seek the Lord's wisdom in each and every situation.  And as I had a chance to share with someone I am mentoring, it is not that I expect Holy Spirit to answer everything I ask about, and I have a peace that just in the asking. It means that I know that I am submitting my life and it's multitude of decisions and choices to the Lordship of Jesus Christ continually.


Then, as I have submitted these things, when and if there is an attack on that particular thread of my life, I know that I am covered.  I do not have to stress about situations.  That is not to say, of course that I make all decisions well, we hear and see in part, after all. I do know that I have the guidance of the Holy Spirit to help me work thru things, even my own messes, one step at a time.  I have a huge comfort and trust now in the Lord that I have never been able to experience before. And it is because of this training/discipline of seeking His wisdom and grace for every situation.

I did not come to the Lord until I was 33, having lived in the world and by my own wits and wiles for decades. This has been a hard transition to make for me but one crucial to my survival, as it is for all of us in this day and age!

I wanted to give an example of something that happened that has impacted my life powerfully and it is for me a reminder that I do only know and see in part.  I have to have God's wisdom to work thru things that have tangled me up all my life.    Last year, I had gone to our Aglow Int'l conference in October and had a brief layover in San Diego, my hometown.  Most of my adult life and formative years were spent there and remember, I was not saved till 33 so I had made a lot of really bad decisions there that really did affect all areas of my life.  I had really avoided the place like the plague, staying away 17 years when I finally had broken free of all the hard stuff that was down there in my life.


So, here I am, at the airport and we were kicked out of the security area, just so we could go thru their security, a 2nd screening, uck!  Just for fun, as I walked by the doors that opened to the street, I told my friend, since I am here, I might as well say hi!  So, like a silly person, I popped out the door, said HI SAN DIEGO! Now GOOD BYE (and good riddance!) and popped right back in!   We again had the blessing of going back thru security and wouldn’t you know, my friend had to be frisked!  Nothing she did, just a random choosing.  We all hit prayer mode!   It was totally uncomfortable and disconcerting and needless to say I was way out of my comfort zone by this little adventure!

So, on to the waiting room to yes, you got it, wait again!  Suddenly I found myself standing in front of the big huge open windows praying and interceding for this place I had come to hate.  I was overcome with sorrow and memories and retreated to the bathroom stall to try to process and figure out what the heck was happening to me.  The Lord brought thing after thing to mind that had happened and been said and done to me.  I had prayed thru them all before but there was an immediacy and an urgency to praying them then and there that was so compelling I could not resist it. Ever been really hijacked by God?


As I prayed, repented and forgave, myself and others the Lord brought a new prayer to mind, one I had never prayed before.  He had me break covenant with the plans and assignments of the enemy!  All those things and names that I had accepted about myself, my future and my destiny I had somehow sealed into myself, mind soul body spirit and emotions.  Sealed in and confirmed by my own words and agreement in a way that I had been unable to ever completely break free from.


  Here then was a key thrust upon me that completely changed my life.  I then was given the wisdom from the Lord to recovenant with Him and His perfect will, plans and purposes for my life.    It seemed to me that I had prayed thru everything sufficiently before. In my mind, by my wisdom, it had all been done and that process completed.  And yet, as I followed the Lord's leading, there was the difference of night and day after this prayer time.   I proceeded on to the Aglow conference in Houston and received freedom from the Lord in a measure and at a depth previously unobtainable to me.

The huge blessing that came later as a direct result was also a bit of a shock to me but amazing.  After I returned home, thru other trips, I wound up doing the same process in 2 other cities that had changed my life, not for the better, but received freedom there also.  Then, I go home and in a conversation with my husband, shared how there will be no more traveling for a while, for work or ministry.  He said, who knows, maybe there will be other trainings for work that can help you prepare for your career.  I said, maybe next year. Wouldn’t you know that same day I go to work and there is a conference we can go to and well, where was it, you guessed it, SAN DIEGO! It was in just three weeks.  I became excited thinking that I could go back and stand in the gap and pray in a way and with an authority that I had never had there before.

To make a long story short, I did go back and was able to do a lot of intercession there in town, on the beaches.  I was right in the heart of my old stomping grounds. I did after all know firsthand what a lot of the snares were in that town. 
I was also able to connect with Brian Ming who had done worship at a few of the Aglow Intl conf and was "coincidentally" planting a church there called Worship Central.  I then contacted some Aglow gals and guys down there and the Lord set up an amazing night of worship and prayer for the region thru that night.  I felt so blessed to be there.


We are in a huge season of shifting and stepping into our inheritance with the Lord.  We HAVE TO BE free of the past and the bondages that are upon us to bind us to the plans and assignments of the enemy.  As we lay down the wisdom in and of our souls, we can receive the mind and the wisdom of Christ, the direction and peace of Holy Spirit to fight for our people and our land.  After all, we have been already given the wisdom that the battles we win are ones that our children will not have to refight on our and their behalf. And in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t that make it all worthwhile!!  Ask the Lord to show you where you have agreed and bound yourself to the enemy’s plans.  BREAK that covenant!  RECOVENANT with Christ to step into the son ship and inheritance of a true child of God. As for me, i hold that little owl close and am very careful to pray thru everything briefly as I make decisions where and how to spend my day and my life.  These things are not my own, you know.  And as I have committed to this, I see my little friend becoming larger and more glorious as I grow in my relationship with Wisdom.


Ps I am not starting a doctrine that you have to physically go back to your places of captivity, that is truly only known in the wisdom of the Lord!  But certainly, ask Him for wisdom for your life and freedom. Ask for His wisdom as to what and how these recovenanting processes should look like and where. Blessings hellen

What is Black, Red & White?

I have read Christian Fiction books, way too many, that were awkward at best. I have read books, many genres,  by the thousands before my step into Christianity and after. I am what you call an avid reader! The ones that I like the best are the ones that captivate me, mind, soul and spirit and I really want to race to the end to see how they finish but absolutely would not miss the journey for anything!
Ted Decker's Black, White, Red, (and then later) Green series is one of the best I have ever read. (3 times now) Much like Narnia in it's simplicity and power, it is also in two time eras but Ted Decker uses a boy rather than the Lion as the Christ figure. I believe that the anointing on these books to change your perception of God and our relationship with Him is powerful. It also ecplores human relationships and motivations in dynamic ways. And, very much like your (and my) fav Frank Peretti books, it exposes the lies and manipulations of the enemy in a way that our modern culture can understand and relate to.

The first time period is now, the second in the future but it show the spiritual world as it really is. There are real people struggling with the seen and the unseen and yet the unseen becomes so much more real to our minds thru the storytelling and the characters processing of everything that happens.
For many of us, having been raised by wolves as my pastors would say. Reading and living life with these characters as they seek to understand the love of Creator thru the tool of analogy is a powerful key to understanding the love of God that we just have no grid for. I say, pick up Black, the first book of the circle series and take it out for a spin. It is a ride of Christian fiction that is worth taking the time to read.

The new Breakthrough Sound

Have you sensed the shift? Had you felt the breakthrough? We have stepped into our new land, now is the time to possess it. It seems that the type of warfare that we are to fight with has transitioned into appropriating and appreciating the victory, won for us by Our Lord.

I have been hearing words about a new sound. These are the sounds of the Lord’s people in unity, in one accord. It is the sound of praising, worshiping, and of laughter. Yes, I did say laughter. It seems to be a word that echoes thru everything I am hearing and reading. Most of these words are based on the scripture that the Lord laughs at the enemy.

At a recent Aglow meeting, the speaker, Ruby Parks shared her testimony. In the midst of this she told of a time when it seemed that her family was really being attacked spiritually. She and her husband agreed it was time (again) to fast and pray for breakthrough. The Lord spoke to her heart and said that it was not time to fast but rather they were entering into a season where they were to laugh thru the trial. Her recounting of how the Lord moved powerfully thru their obedience was amazing.

There is a book by Steve Backlund called "Possessing Joy" that has so many interesting facts about laughter that I just cannot share them all here! A few tidbits are the doctor who spent most of his life’s work proving that laughter and feeling positive had well, positive affects on his and the patients in the studies health. There is the woman who laughed her way to losing 35 lbs. It wasn’t a diet of laughter; it was a substitution of laughter instead of whatever food or substance she had used before to self-medicate the pain inside. She committed to laughing from 30 seconds to 5 minutes a day. Soon she started feeling better, wanted to exercise and be healthier overall and just plain enjoyed life more.

There are studies that had patients watch comedy for an hour and tested their antibodies before and after. The results were astounding! Ok no more stories, you just have to get the book! Ok, here is one last fact from it, this one regarding how much we laugh. Did you know that children laugh about 400 times a day and adults maybe 15 in the same 24 hours? That can’t be a good thing! Jesus does say to be like the children, could it have been that laughter is one part of what He was directing us to do, as well as being more trusting, open honest, etc.?

If God laughs at His enemies and sees all of their efforts as futile, should we not do the same? Let us use such a powerful tool as much as we possibly can, for our health both spiritually and physically! Come on! Let’s do it!! My favorite line from Steve’s books is “I laugh uproariously at the lies of the enemy” Let us laugh hard, often and together!!

Declare or Decline- Time to War with our tongues

We are in a season, now more than ever before, that life and death are in the power of the tongue. Almost is if every statement immediately and directly builds something of substance here in our natural world.

We have know these things, been taught repeatedly to hold every thought captive and yet we seem to not take it completely seriously.  I believe that we have been in a season of grace, a training period where the consequences have not been immediate or dire if we speak out the negative things of the world.  I believe that time is over.  The things we do and say that are negative can and will be held against us, and our family, our community and our country.

Have you seen it too?  Have your words come back to echo in your head as you walk thru a consequence you always dreaded before but seemed to just slip by in the past?  Now, it is staring you in the face thru the hurt face of friend or family.  Now it echoes in the pains of your body as your worst fears are realized and you are fighting it, whatever the "IT" is you so carelessly spoke out!  It is as if basic spiritual boot camp is over and you are now training for the elite guard with new, sharper and much more deadly weapons.  It is said that the tongue is sharper than a two-edged sword.  This is a weapon we must use wisely and well.  I feel like the enemy is hanging on our every word and anything that does not line up with the word of God can and will be used against us!  A careless, ill thought out word becomes the noose with which we are hung, trapped by the forces of darkness.

And if you are in a place of dark sorrow of the heart, then it is time to let the Lord truly do a deep work of healing.  It is said out of the mouth the issues of the heart spring forth.  If there are deep wounds, bitterness, unforgiveness, and all the other damaging emotions of spiritual and emotional wounds, then everything we say will come thru that or those filters.  And the enemy will bind us deeper into those pits.  Get healing, get deliverance, get the sorrow of ashes traded in for joy in the morning!

So, it is time to declare the goodness of God and His promises.  My husband has been proclaiming the declarations every morning!  (from Steve and Wendy Backlund’s Ignited Hope Ministries, to read/copy them, go to www.ignitedhope.com) He has seen the Lord, time and time again, use the proclamation of His promises to created miracles in Roy’s day.  New people met and ministered to, new jobs, even the description of specific new jobs have come to Roy in the process.  Then, sometime in the day, that promise manifests, every time!  He says he is so excited to make the declarations each day and open up the “presents” from the Lord that he helped speak into existence.  God has promised that His word cannot go out and return void. So, we can declare what we want or His word.  I kind of compare them to a grenade versus an atom bomb going off! I think you know which would be which!

This will be a short article for me; I am fighting my own battle of declaration as I fight the gunk the enemy is trying to attack my body with.  It does not matter what it is called or if I was near every germ and bacteria in Shasta County!  When my Jesus took the 39 stripes on His back, it was for a different sickness, illness or infirmity!  So, anything that tries to mess up my system is illegal!  The analogy I give when sharing about God’s healing is that if someone threw a bucket of oil on you, you would never say “Oh, look at my lovely oil!” You would say this is garbage and it has to go!!  You would scrape off the oil, wash up, basically do whatever it takes to get it off you and not accept it even for a moment.  We need to be just as unaccepting of the other garbage the enemy tries to throw on us, colds, flu and on and on….  It has no legal authority, it cannot stay and you press in to the Lord and His love and grace and trust Him to take you thru the valley of darkness.

So, life and death are in the power of YOUR tongue, it is in your power to bless and to curse, yourself and others.  BEWARE of what you say AND how you say it.  And above all, if you cannot say something nice to someone or about your situation, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL.

The battle rages, boot camp is over, it is time to get serious or to be seriously taken out of commission. Your call! Your future and your destiny hang in the balance of where you go on this crossroads!  See you there!  And before I go, let me remind you there is some good ammunition for you.  The declarations from Ignited Hope, we have been sharing them with everyone!  Try them out or write your own but declare the goodness and promises of God.  We all need to, here, now, before it is too late and we are in a trap of our own making, padlocked in by the enemy of our souls.  We will decline if all we do is be in agreement with darkness.  We must declare the light and the promises of the One who is light!

So, speak to your soul, your spirit and the natural world around you and let us start this next adventure together! DECLARE the enemy’s decline!


Ten Beginning Declarations

Declaration #1 (Romans 4:17; Romans 10:9,10) These ten basic declarations (confessions) are foundational to the building of your faith. They will increase your expectancy of Gods goodness; and, thus, will increase the manifestation of that goodness in your life. Jesus said, according to your faith, so be it (Matthew 8:13) Say these (and the other profession lists) every day for a month and see what happens to your life. It will be exciting!
1. My prayers are powerful and effective (2 Cor 5:21; James 5:16b).
2. God richly supplies all my financial needs (Phil 4:19).
3. I am dead to sin and alive to obeying God (Romans 6:11).
4. I walk in ever-increasing health (Isaiah 53:3-5).
5. I live under a supernatural protection (Ps 91).
6. I prosper in all my relationships (Luke 2:52)
7. I consistently bring God encounters to other people (Mark 16:17,18)
8. Through Jesus I am 100% loved and worthy to receive all of God’s blessings (Gal 3:1-5).
9. Each of my family members is wonderfully blessed and radically loves Jesus (Acts 16:30.31)
10.I uproariously laugh when I hear a lie from the devil (Psalms 2:2-4).  

Declarations to IGNITE Faith
Declaration #2 Remember this: Faith is the evidence of things not seen (Heb 11:1). Our evidence for things being true is not our circumstances, but Gods promises. We don’t deny negative facts in our lives, but we choose to focus on a higher reality: Gods truth. Faith indeed comes by hearing (Romans 10:17); therefore, we choose to speak these powerful truths to build our own faith.
1. I set the course of my life today with my words (James 3:2-5).
2. I declare today that I cannot be defeated, discouraged, depressed or disappointed. (Phil 4:13)
3. I am the head. I have insight. I have wisdom. I have ideas. I have authority. (Deut 28:13; Deut 8:18; James 1:5-8; Luke 10:19)
4. As I speak Gods promises, they come to pass. They stop all attacks, assaults, oppression, and fear from my life. (2 Peter 1:2-4; Mark 11:23-24).
5. God is on my side today and therefore I cannot be defeated. (Romans 8:37; Psalms 91)
6. I have the wisdom of God today. I will think the right thoughts, say the right words, and make the right decisions in every situation I face. (1 Corinthians 2:16)
7. I choose life today. I choose health. I will not be depressed today. I will not be in lack today. I will not be confused today. (Deut 30:19; Neh 8:10; Ps 103:1-3; 2 Tim 1:6,7)
8. I expect the best day of my life spiritually, emotionally, relationally, and financially in Jesus name. (Romans 15:13)   


Declarations
 
 
 
 


Speaking to Mountains
Declaration #3 Truth: One of the main methods Jesus and the apostles used (in the gospels and Acts) was to SPEAK TO things. You will notice that they did not ask God to heal people, to cast out demons, or to raise the dead; but they spoke to bodies, to demons, etc. Jesus encouraged us to speak to mountains in Mark 11:23. This set of declarations focuses much on our speaking to the various aspects in our lives. I have a covenant with God and, by the blood of Jesus I release my divine protection and divine provision (Hebrews 8:6)  My angels are carrying out the Word of God on my behalf (Psalm 103:20) I expect to have divine appointments today, to run into the right people, and to be delivered from the wrong people.Any adversity, attack, accidents and tragedies that were headed my way are diverted right now in Jesus name.

I speak to the raging waters in my life; peace, be still. I say to my mind; peace, be still. I say to my emotions; peace, be still. I say to my body; peace, be still. I say to my home; peace, be still. I say to my family; peace, be still.
Now I speak to every mountain of fear, every mountain of discouragement, every mountain of stress, every mountain of depression, every mountain of lack and insufficiency; and I say, be removed & cast into the sea in Jesus name! (Mar 11:22-24)
And I speak to this day and I call you blessed. And I declare that I serve a mighty God who today will do exceedingly and abundantly beyond all that I can ask or think (Eph 3:20). I say you are a good God and I eagerly anticipate your goodness today.     Ignited Hope Ministries 

The Kiss of Betrayal

I have been thinking about how God has been working in all of our lives.  It seems to me that He has been very intentional about healing and reconciling our relationships. And that means all of our relationships, even the ones that seem to be the most irreconcilable.   I thought about many of the people I know and the challenges they face in reconciliation and it seems that the hardest relationships to heal are the ones that were with those that were the closest to us.

 I think that it is hard to forgive those that we love who hurt us badly, whether it was with or without any intention of wrongdoing. There is a kiss of betrayal that goes to the depths of our soul.  It feels like a Judas kiss. That is defined as "an act appearing to be an act of friendship, which is in fact harmful to the recipient." And that is a tough thing to deal with.  We all try so hard to work thru problems in our relationships.  We try to share our feelings, set boundaries and navigate thru the difficult relational stuff.  That makes it harder when in the course of those relational uncharted territories, something is said that wounds or damages us to the core of who are.  I believe that many of those wounds are not premeditated but inflicted because of wounding that the friend or family member has themselves.

I have been in such a season but had something so cool happen to pull me out of this quagmire that I just had to share it!  God had been pulling apart every relationship that I have had, for the last 40plus years!  Like a knotted, tangled skein of yarn He had patiently pulled out and detached every thread, even those that represented loved ones that had passed on!  Kind of crazy to be back in the past and trying to work thru issues decades old, some of them with problems that I did not even know about.  And yes, as you may have guessed, I was not a happy camper about it!!  I was very upset that everything felt as if it was being torn to shreds as it was being pulled apart.  And I confess, I fell into every trap the enemy set to pull my soul into self pity, fear and intimidation.  Anger, bitterness and even unbelief of God’s goodness all held sway in my heart, leaving no room for the grace of God to be loosed into the broken pieces of my heart.  It had been a long process and in truth I am not entirely sure I am done.  What I do know however is that the grace of God has worked mightily in my life this last few months to conclude this part of the process.

This spring I went to our Aglow prayer explosion this spring.  This time, instead of a lot of outward prayer, Holy Spirit went inward into the inner man.  The power of God created an implosion instead of an explosion and none went home the same!  The Lord set up prophetic acts of reconciliation between all the generations.  This was done thru different people, of all ages, standing up and standing in repentance for what their generation had done to one or both of the others. (youth, the parents & the grandparents were all represented)  I will never forget the woman who shared about her sons.  She said she was driving with one of her teens in the backseat, mouthing profanities at her!  Then the Lord showed her the image of the same little boy, as she left his father due to abuse, crying out mommy, don’t leave us, mommy, don’t leave us!!  We all cried as she shared how this had broken her and caused her to seek reconciliation with her sons.  She went to each ones to repent for wounding them, for what damage her actions, even well meaning ones, had caused.  She shared how that same son now wanted to take her to San Francisco and spoil her like crazy for her birthday.  It was and continues to be a miracle of healing.

 Then a grandfather stood up and shared that he felt the Lord would have him stand in the place of all those who had wounded us, primarily women.  As your grandfather, your father, your uncle, your cousin, please forgive me for where I have wounded you.  As your brother, your boss, your co-worker, please forgive me for where I have not supported you or have done you damage.  Please forgive me for where I have not protected you from others.  Please forgive me for abusing or hurting you myself.”

   It was a powerful time that resonated with most of the women and possibly even the many men that were present, I do not know as I was too undone myself.  Many of us cried and broke as this hidden place of betrayal was exposed cleansed and healed by the Master’s touch!  There was a woman that went up to that gentleman and stood in the gap for all the women who had decided that they hated men because of all the betrayal that had come at the hands of men.  She repented of choices of bitterness, unforgiveness and anger directed toward men all her life.   She asked for forgiveness for her acts of anger and deeds toward men.  She also broke agreement with the word curses she had spoken that she would never love or trust men again.  Hearing her words, knowing that many of us identified with her, at least in part, was powerful and liberating.

So, meanwhile, many of us wept and cried and allowed the Lord, for some the first time ever, to touch those deep places of need and despair.  As I was sitting there later, processing,  I felt like the Lord was showing me the funniest mental picture!  He was taking a big chalkboard type of eraser and erasing the pain and even some of the memories of things that had happened to me over the years.  I just started laughing and laughing!  He also showed me that had if the last few years of pulling everything out and dealing with things had not happened, then I would not have been prepared or been able to bear the weight of the things He is now releasing in my life.  I would now be crumbling and shattering into a billion pieces.  For the first time I laughed as He erased out the pain and showed me that the kiss of betrayal at the hands of my Father, and others, were a thing of the past.  I was not a captive to those things anymore.  I had a free choice to be well, free, whole and healthy.

I am very grateful, a little embarrassed over all my complaints to a God who is so much more than I ever knew and overwhelmed by His love and care for me.  The kiss of betrayal may be powerful but the Kiss of the Master is life changing, earth shaking, destiny releasing and shows just how intensely passionate He is for us.

Ram in the Thicket

I heard an interesting concept about being the ram in the thicket in a teaching my pastor did today

 It was the story of destiny and purpose but not for Abraham, not even Isaac but for the sacrifice the Lord provided.   This was the third “character” in this famous tale, the ram, and life from his point of view.  As Pastor Kim said, it is certain that “he” (the ram) did not get up that morning and say “How wonderful!! I get to be sacrificed today! For someone else no less!  I will be burnt on an altar, my horns will make a wonderful shofar for Master Abraham and I will be SO famous and well loved! (well, if rams could think that is)  He was probably just minding his own business, going merrily along until suddenly this invisible giant hand hauls him into a thorny thicket and plunges his head into it!!  He is stuck there as a part of the Lord's master plan in it's and someone else's life.  If the ram had not been there, then what would have happened to the destiny of Abraham and his son of promise, Isaac?   The Lord will surely provide, Abraham said in faith and trust and the Lord did provide!

So, frankly, I related to this all too well.  And yes, it did answer some questions, well whining actually of WHY? God. WHEN does this (these) hard situation(s) end?  And the ever famous, HOW COME the other people don’t change so that I can get out of the darn thicket!!  The answer from the Lord is “because I am working on everyone involved in this situation.   And,   when you are done with the process of having all of your soul go thru my fire and lastly, what is it to you what and how I do things in their life? (Shades of Job and Jesus speaking to the disciples all rolled into one.)  Mind your own business and focus on you and I and what I am teaching you in the midst of the thicket.

I think sometimes, relationally, we are 2 (or 3)  rams in the thicket looking at each other and saying, now what the heck do we do?  We struggle and fight, succeeding only in entangling ourselves more thoroughly, until we are faint from exhaustion. We yell, we rage, we cry, we try to beg or bribe our way out of “our troubles” until we have tried every trick in the book.   And in the end, none of any of the myriad of things we do amounts to a hill of beans.  We are NOT getting out until it is time, period.  And if by some happenchance we do find a way to start wriggling out, the Lord will just redo His thicket so that you have to transform into His likeness.

We can go to a place of blame easily.  If you had not led the way up this hill, if you had not………etc etc etc then we/I would not be in this mess!!  It is so easy to play the blame game but does that really accomplish anything?  Especially if they are just as caught in the thicket as we are?

And in all of this, there is a decision that has to be made.  If life as we know it, if the thickets in our life are never removed, how are we going to live those lives.  Paul had a “thorn” that he begged the Lord three times to remove.  God only said, my grace is sufficient for you.  My strength is made perfect in your weakness.  And maybe that is the bottom line, for if we could get ourselves out of the thicket, then we would consider ourselves as gods and not need the one that created us.  Independence really is the enemy of trust and relationship.  We have to come to a place of absolute trust and abandonment, even ad Abraham and yes Isaac also came to.  Even Mary had to say “Be it unto me according to Your perfect will, to step into her destiny.  There are lessons that He intends for us to learn, no matter what.  There are skills and abilities that we have to learn to step fully into our destiny and relationship with Him.  At some point, Pastor Kim said, we do step into transition and step into the new thing.  Be careful that it is in the Lord’s timing, not our own!

So,   I am (the ram) in the thicket!  Do I like it, no, but is it good? Yes because it is of the Lord's hand and plan. I just wish I did not have a couple areas of my life that are like that! You would think that just one at a time would do!  I am still trying to process all of this but atleast I now can process that thought that sometimes, all you really can do, when you have done all you can, is to stand and see the salvation of the Lord, one thicket at a time.