Friday, January 27, 2012

Be Still


The Lord  has been taking me through a deep season of cleansing and healing.  I have  found myself praying thru hard situations and relationships again that I thought were dealt with already.  He has shown me that there is a depth and a detail of things that He is after so that I am completely free and ready to step fully into the future that He has created me for. 

 He gave me a visual of a fountain that had gunk and strings clogging it up as a way to understand that if we really want to be vessels and conduits of His grace then we have to allow this cleansing and restoration process to be done by His hand.  Even as the pot cannot mold or repair itself but must hold still in the potter's hand, we must Be Still and allow Him to do what only He can do.    The individual details of my relationships and the depths that I have had to revisit and reprocess them from a kingdom perspective has kind of amazed me!  Just like an oasis in the natural, if the well or cistern is polluted and or clogged up, all the junk has to come out for the pure water to flow!

I visualized an oasis that is parched and dry, muck and scum making the water rank and stale, palm trees twisted and broken, like our hearts. Even as I have been in a desert season, my heart is that polluted oasis that must be cleaned out, from top to bottom.

  If we want to be everything we need and can be to those we are in relationship with, then it is time to have Him complete the process. We need the strands of relationships to be pulled out that are not in His perfect will.  There are many of us that relational strands that affect our lives greatly.  The adult daughter, the 14yr old son that just started high school, the siblings and all those interesting details, many of those need to be untangled and touched with the Lord's cleansing and healing touch.  We all have relationships that are hard, are challenging and just more than we can sort out.  We have relationships that we just do not know what to do with.  We even have good reltaionships that just need to be put on hold for awhile. We are tangled and we are mucked up and left to ourselves, things could decidedly get worse.  We have to allow the Lord to set us free and untangle us!

There is a scripture that means alot to me, He who the son sets free is free indeed.  This describes the common old practice of the son of the household.  When the Master, his Father, dies, he would set free completely the slaves of the household.  They were freemen with no bondage attached to them in any way.  And so, when the Son of our heavenly Father did all He did for our salvation, He made us completely free.  The cleansing process is the way to be able to step into this life and that more abundantly. 

For many years I have operated thru an orphan spirit.  I have strived and worked hard, all to earn the love and acceptance that is already mine.  Fear of man and people pleasing were my portion and I did not know how to just be.  And now, even with much healing, I am still learning to handle things differently.    And, even though I am an orphan in the natural, in the spiritual realm, the keys to the kingdom are mine.  I am learning that I do have a heavenly Father that loves me unconditionally.  He is not like my earthly Father, who, bless him, had never been parented himself.  He is not full of anger and rage.  He is love and that in unlimited measure and I am His!

I believe that we have stepped into a shift, a kairos moment in time where we will finally leave all the pain, sorrow and suffering that is our PAST behind and be fully free to step into our present and future.  There is a window of grace opening that we will have to leap thru and we must do that unencumbered by the strings of the past.  It is time to pray thru all relationships and situations that the Lord brings to mind.  To repent of our part of these things that hinder us and forgive any and all that have played a part in any of these events the Lord is now highlighting.  To do so does  not say that it was acceptable what they did, merely that you leave them in the Lord's  hands and release them from your life and heart.

If not us, who, if not now, when, if not freedom and joy, then what will we settle for?
thank  you Lord for your Healing touch, we receive it gladly, amen

Being trained in God's Wisdom is EVERYTHING!!

or the OWLS have it!
I have been asking the Lord for wisdom, over and over again.  Recently I had a dream that I found a baby owl. I was getting frustrated though that the darn thing kept disappearing!  I was traveling and I found this baby owl but kept losing it.  I would see it again later but it would be lighter and look like a reg light tan/gold bird.  Then i would recognize it again  and i would all of the sudden find it (pick it up again) again and that is when it would put it's ears up and look like an owl again, still small but brown.  Other people in the family were finding different things but it was never the same.  I had to find that bird! I was thrilled to learn that it would come if I saw it and called for it. I tried to work more and more at keeping track of it.

The next thing was I found out someone selling/giving away some really nice jewelry and make up, One of my favorite things is to find treasures from the Lord for things we (or others)  need, in hidden places, like garage sales, etc.  As I was browsing and selecting what I felt was needed,  I was working on not losing the bird again but found it was hard to focus on both.  I finally decided to buy what I needed quickly and clear out one of the nice bags for a place for the bird to rest and feel safe.  So, this all seems random but the moral of the story, for me, was that I did need to still exercise my gift as a treasure hunter for the Lord but that I had to make it a first priority to make room for His wisdom.

The fear of the LORD is discipline (training) [leading to] wisdom, and humility comes before honor.

 I have (finally) entered a season of knowing that it is just not enough to know what I know. There is no other way to walk this life of a disciple than to seek the Lord's wisdom in each and every situation.  And as I had a chance to share with someone I am mentoring, it is not that I expect Holy Spirit to answer everything I ask about, and I have a peace that just in the asking. It means that I know that I am submitting my life and it's multitude of decisions and choices to the Lordship of Jesus Christ continually.


Then, as I have submitted these things, when and if there is an attack on that particular thread of my life, I know that I am covered.  I do not have to stress about situations.  That is not to say, of course that I make all decisions well, we hear and see in part, after all. I do know that I have the guidance of the Holy Spirit to help me work thru things, even my own messes, one step at a time.  I have a huge comfort and trust now in the Lord that I have never been able to experience before. And it is because of this training/discipline of seeking His wisdom and grace for every situation.

I did not come to the Lord until I was 33, having lived in the world and by my own wits and wiles for decades. This has been a hard transition to make for me but one crucial to my survival, as it is for all of us in this day and age!

I wanted to give an example of something that happened that has impacted my life powerfully and it is for me a reminder that I do only know and see in part.  I have to have God's wisdom to work thru things that have tangled me up all my life.    Last year, I had gone to our Aglow Int'l conference in October and had a brief layover in San Diego, my hometown.  Most of my adult life and formative years were spent there and remember, I was not saved till 33 so I had made a lot of really bad decisions there that really did affect all areas of my life.  I had really avoided the place like the plague, staying away 17 years when I finally had broken free of all the hard stuff that was down there in my life.


So, here I am, at the airport and we were kicked out of the security area, just so we could go thru their security, a 2nd screening, uck!  Just for fun, as I walked by the doors that opened to the street, I told my friend, since I am here, I might as well say hi!  So, like a silly person, I popped out the door, said HI SAN DIEGO! Now GOOD BYE (and good riddance!) and popped right back in!   We again had the blessing of going back thru security and wouldn’t you know, my friend had to be frisked!  Nothing she did, just a random choosing.  We all hit prayer mode!   It was totally uncomfortable and disconcerting and needless to say I was way out of my comfort zone by this little adventure!

So, on to the waiting room to yes, you got it, wait again!  Suddenly I found myself standing in front of the big huge open windows praying and interceding for this place I had come to hate.  I was overcome with sorrow and memories and retreated to the bathroom stall to try to process and figure out what the heck was happening to me.  The Lord brought thing after thing to mind that had happened and been said and done to me.  I had prayed thru them all before but there was an immediacy and an urgency to praying them then and there that was so compelling I could not resist it. Ever been really hijacked by God?


As I prayed, repented and forgave, myself and others the Lord brought a new prayer to mind, one I had never prayed before.  He had me break covenant with the plans and assignments of the enemy!  All those things and names that I had accepted about myself, my future and my destiny I had somehow sealed into myself, mind soul body spirit and emotions.  Sealed in and confirmed by my own words and agreement in a way that I had been unable to ever completely break free from.


  Here then was a key thrust upon me that completely changed my life.  I then was given the wisdom from the Lord to recovenant with Him and His perfect will, plans and purposes for my life.    It seemed to me that I had prayed thru everything sufficiently before. In my mind, by my wisdom, it had all been done and that process completed.  And yet, as I followed the Lord's leading, there was the difference of night and day after this prayer time.   I proceeded on to the Aglow conference in Houston and received freedom from the Lord in a measure and at a depth previously unobtainable to me.

The huge blessing that came later as a direct result was also a bit of a shock to me but amazing.  After I returned home, thru other trips, I wound up doing the same process in 2 other cities that had changed my life, not for the better, but received freedom there also.  Then, I go home and in a conversation with my husband, shared how there will be no more traveling for a while, for work or ministry.  He said, who knows, maybe there will be other trainings for work that can help you prepare for your career.  I said, maybe next year. Wouldn’t you know that same day I go to work and there is a conference we can go to and well, where was it, you guessed it, SAN DIEGO! It was in just three weeks.  I became excited thinking that I could go back and stand in the gap and pray in a way and with an authority that I had never had there before.

To make a long story short, I did go back and was able to do a lot of intercession there in town, on the beaches.  I was right in the heart of my old stomping grounds. I did after all know firsthand what a lot of the snares were in that town. 
I was also able to connect with Brian Ming who had done worship at a few of the Aglow Intl conf and was "coincidentally" planting a church there called Worship Central.  I then contacted some Aglow gals and guys down there and the Lord set up an amazing night of worship and prayer for the region thru that night.  I felt so blessed to be there.


We are in a huge season of shifting and stepping into our inheritance with the Lord.  We HAVE TO BE free of the past and the bondages that are upon us to bind us to the plans and assignments of the enemy.  As we lay down the wisdom in and of our souls, we can receive the mind and the wisdom of Christ, the direction and peace of Holy Spirit to fight for our people and our land.  After all, we have been already given the wisdom that the battles we win are ones that our children will not have to refight on our and their behalf. And in the grand scheme of things, doesn’t that make it all worthwhile!!  Ask the Lord to show you where you have agreed and bound yourself to the enemy’s plans.  BREAK that covenant!  RECOVENANT with Christ to step into the son ship and inheritance of a true child of God. As for me, i hold that little owl close and am very careful to pray thru everything briefly as I make decisions where and how to spend my day and my life.  These things are not my own, you know.  And as I have committed to this, I see my little friend becoming larger and more glorious as I grow in my relationship with Wisdom.


Ps I am not starting a doctrine that you have to physically go back to your places of captivity, that is truly only known in the wisdom of the Lord!  But certainly, ask Him for wisdom for your life and freedom. Ask for His wisdom as to what and how these recovenanting processes should look like and where. Blessings hellen

What is Black, Red & White?

I have read Christian Fiction books, way too many, that were awkward at best. I have read books, many genres,  by the thousands before my step into Christianity and after. I am what you call an avid reader! The ones that I like the best are the ones that captivate me, mind, soul and spirit and I really want to race to the end to see how they finish but absolutely would not miss the journey for anything!
Ted Decker's Black, White, Red, (and then later) Green series is one of the best I have ever read. (3 times now) Much like Narnia in it's simplicity and power, it is also in two time eras but Ted Decker uses a boy rather than the Lion as the Christ figure. I believe that the anointing on these books to change your perception of God and our relationship with Him is powerful. It also ecplores human relationships and motivations in dynamic ways. And, very much like your (and my) fav Frank Peretti books, it exposes the lies and manipulations of the enemy in a way that our modern culture can understand and relate to.

The first time period is now, the second in the future but it show the spiritual world as it really is. There are real people struggling with the seen and the unseen and yet the unseen becomes so much more real to our minds thru the storytelling and the characters processing of everything that happens.
For many of us, having been raised by wolves as my pastors would say. Reading and living life with these characters as they seek to understand the love of Creator thru the tool of analogy is a powerful key to understanding the love of God that we just have no grid for. I say, pick up Black, the first book of the circle series and take it out for a spin. It is a ride of Christian fiction that is worth taking the time to read.